i was rollin on her like bob the builder
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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