"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
