I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
