you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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