Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
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