Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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