She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
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