seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
