the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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