Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
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