dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Randomize
