I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Randomize
