I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
