false alarm. still invincible.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
