I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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