Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
