She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
