he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
