What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
