dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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