honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Randomize