Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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