i don't like sucking hair
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
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