If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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