Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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