im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
accomplished twins. life is a go
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Randomize
