we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
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Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
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how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
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