I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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