I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
