Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
