I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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