Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
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