It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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