people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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