found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
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That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
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I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Just high enough for therapy.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.