If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
# Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
29 Super Simple DIY Drinking Games
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"