Texts From Last Night

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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.

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  (918): I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell. http://tfl.nu/i4f8
  Replies (26) Good night (815) Bad night (1473)
• Favorite

  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?

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  (918): New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be? http://tfl.nu/0zp1
  Replies (17) Good night (5412) Bad night (1242)
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.

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  (502): I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party. http://tfl.nu/23sk
  Replies (17) Good night (1128) Bad night (4833)
• Favorite

  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?

  (1-918): View more from Oklahoma

  No thats like a top 10

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  (918): is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night? (1-918): No thats like a top 10 http://tfl.nu/uawo
  Replies (35) Good night (6729) Bad night (976)
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex

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  (336): and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex http://tfl.nu/hs2b
  Replies (23) Good night (6547) Bad night (1169)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.

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  (914): I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life. http://tfl.nu/ku4v
  Replies (3) Good night (2528) Bad night (874)
• Favorite

  (417): View more from Missouri

  Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.

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  (417): Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome. http://tfl.nu/ko4x
  Replies (3) Good night (2201) Bad night (755)
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  (647): View more from Ontario

  I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.

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  (647): I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life. http://tfl.nu/xuzg
  Replies (8) Good night (1249) Bad night (727)
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob

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  (602): She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob http://tfl.nu/kuny
  Replies (9) Good night (1909) Bad night (634)
• Favorite

  (616): View more from Michigan

  Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.

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  (616): Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy. http://tfl.nu/lqb9
  Replies (5) Good night (1398) Bad night (608)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.

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  (203): Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life. http://tfl.nu/hv3j
  Replies (3) Good night (969) Bad night (419)
• Favorite

  (+61): View more from Australia

  A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM

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  (+61): A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM http://tfl.nu/lo1g
  Replies (2) Good night (714) Bad night (283)
• Favorite

  (219): View more from Indiana

  You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.

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  (219): You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him. http://tfl.nu/eshg
  Replies (3) Good night (1063) Bad night (390)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.

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  (314): When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor. http://tfl.nu/ygxz
  Replies (5) Good night (910) Bad night (329)
• Favorite

  (559): View more from California

  You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event

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  (559): You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event http://tfl.nu/bllo
  Replies (1) Good night (325) Bad night (169)

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