just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.