my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
he was CRYING into my vagina
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow