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• (352): View more from Florida

  I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk

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• (253): View more from Washington

  I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me

  (1-630): View more from Illinois

  It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous

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• (313): View more from Michigan

  i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.

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  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

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• (732): View more from New Jersey

  My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day

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• (704): View more from North Carolina

  giving yourself 2 days to recover i see

  (828): View more from North Carolina

  I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.

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• (917): View more from New York City

  I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.

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• (620): View more from Kansas

  Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take

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• 

  21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (760): View more from California

  my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night

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• (609): View more from New Jersey

  wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.

  (941): View more from Florida

  it was a krispy kreme

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• (623): View more from Arizona

  This tent reeks of fear and sangria

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• (651): View more from Minnesota

  dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.

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• (905): View more from Ontario

  He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs

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• (252): View more from North Carolina

  Either he pets my cat or this deal is null

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