Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
