just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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