it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Randomize
