I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
