I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize