you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
