I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Randomize