Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
This is my life. Enjoy the view
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
