After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
