Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
