put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I'm getting married
To pizza
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
