Me. At least after what I've been through.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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