I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
