dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Found your dick twin last night
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
