we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
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good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
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The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people