It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
