I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Randomize
