Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
