He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
