I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
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