The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
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