thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
