i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
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