stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
