What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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