i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I forget how to act sober
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
