I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
