you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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