I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
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