dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
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Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I would ride that face into the sunset
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